Commissioner Gordon here, fortified with the large part of a bottle of Bourbon. (If you had to put up with living in a house for  a week with Batman, y0u’d understand. Hell, you’d be on the B0urbon too.)

In the Batman canon, as you well know, I’m grey/white haired. In this production, I started out with ginger hair. Then our marvellous costume designer (doubling as Harley Quinn) turned me blond:

That all went fine until we got to the next stage: dyeing the blond to silver, like the silver fox I am.

Harley made a valiant effort but this is how it turned out:

After ten minutes violently shampooing my hair, it was slightly less bluerer but not very much silverer:

I am reliably informed that with repeated washing this will eventually become silver like the silver fox I am (did I mention I’m a silver fox?). Only time will tell whether my hair finally becomes as silver as my awesomeness (why yes, my awesomeness is silver. What colour’s yours? Well, clearly you don’t know BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT AWESOME).

Hey, why not come to the preview in London and find out whether I’ll have turned distinguishedly silver in the next couple of days? It’s that or authority-underminingly blue…